She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram