Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.

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  (334): She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard. http://tfl.nu/xu4e
  Replies (9) Good night (4232) Bad night (1265)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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  (978): My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober. http://tfl.nu/yr07
  Replies (13) Good night (4551) Bad night (857)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.

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  (508): I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up. http://tfl.nu/8n4w
  Replies (7) Good night (835) Bad night (4751)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day

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  (860): Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/vbqh
  Replies (4) Good night (3527) Bad night (696)
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  (315): View more from New York

  His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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  (315): His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians. http://tfl.nu/73dw
  Replies (13) Good night (6179) Bad night (1602)
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  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6504) Bad night (12204)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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  (719): We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting http://tfl.nu/vcgc
  Replies (6) Good night (4814) Bad night (830)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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  (516): Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice http://tfl.nu/slww
  Replies (24) Good night (7144) Bad night (1487)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.

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  (513): Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette. http://tfl.nu/g7cy
  Replies (2) Good night (1331) Bad night (580)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me

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  (616): Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me http://tfl.nu/gcet
  Replies (6) Good night (2369) Bad night (640)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (330)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship

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  (815): Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship http://tfl.nu/8hbk
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (274)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??

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  (614): When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball?? http://tfl.nu/5g8j
  Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (174)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?

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  (440): This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kffk
  Replies (9) Good night (768) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Typical.

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  (314): I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus. (636): Typical. http://tfl.nu/yc0f
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (242)

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