Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.