Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am a bulletproof tiger!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I am a bulletproof tiger! (615): Haha. Nice, be careful tonight. (828): I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat? http://tfl.nu/tz40
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (575) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets? http://tfl.nu/drj5
  Replies (23) Good night (2540) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I really want to fuck my wifes sister. http://tfl.nu/nla0
  Replies (42) Good night (1128) Bad night (4409)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor. http://tfl.nu/qg7g
  Replies (35) Good night (5183) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5
  Replies (15) Good night (3900) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals http://tfl.nu/h68j
  Replies (33) Good night (8799) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (22) Good night (14238) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants. http://tfl.nu/v3dq
  Replies (51) Good night (8660) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building. http://tfl.nu/5zu2
  Replies (19) Good night (4068) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are paw prints all over my ceiling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): There are paw prints all over my ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gg63
  Replies (12) Good night (3500) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms. http://tfl.nu/mjwo
  Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg
  Replies (2) Good night (2163) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again. http://tfl.nu/phzx
  Replies (8) Good night (1197) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them? http://tfl.nu/b8rj
  Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (779)

Randomize