"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?