sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
