just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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