I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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