I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
