she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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