Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
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just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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