Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
