They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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