Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
