Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men