Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
