week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.