the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip