Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business