thus making me awesome and them whores
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
BRING THE BAGELS
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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