Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
