I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
