are you still at the devil's house?
too bad you live with your parents still
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
