she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
