the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
