eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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