I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
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Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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