The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
