Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
