She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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