Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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