If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize