this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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