Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
