his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
