Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
