the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
