you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
