I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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