It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
