Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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