So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
