you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
