Got a toothbrush?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
