She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
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