Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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