Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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