also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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