I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
