Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
