Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
