I can tuck mytits in my pants
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So squirting runs in the family.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
