Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
