So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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