Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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