Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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