the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
