so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
