You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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