Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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