I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
