we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
