she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
