No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
