I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
