Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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