Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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