pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
