On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize